A Christmas Car Alarm


Beeeep Beeeeep Beeeeeeep


It’s ten past three on a cool December night.

A silent night it is not.

My neighbours over protective alarm

is carolling non-stop.


He’s never had anything stolen

from it. A fact of which he’s proud.

It does get hit with bricks a lot though.

Not just because its loud.


It’s more the choice of carol.

That seems to get peoples goat.

That and the hours he picks

to belt them out on the road.


We Three Kings of Orient Are

seems to be a popular choice.

At least that’s what I hear

(although my pillow blocks out the voice).


The time to rise comes all too soon.

As I pick up another brick.

The walk downstairs is a familiar one.

This time it’ll do the trick.


I love the stars during these

crisp winter nights.

Reflections on the glass

remind me of Christmas tree lights.


The brick bounces off the

windscreen and installs another crack.

But the carols keep on coming.

In fact, I think I changed the track.


The brick is still whole

so I’ll have another go.

Joy to the World came abruptly to an end

as I smashed out the driver side window.


The spirit of Christmas is a beautiful thing.

A carolling car that just wants to sing.

But given the choice between going insane.

Or bricking a car and ending my pain.

The Christmas car will surely come off worse.

Not least because I abhor its traditional choice of verse.


4 responses to “A Christmas Car Alarm

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